Sunday, September 23, 2007

What’s the good word, mate?

By Donn Morgan Kipgen

The other day a major of the Indian Army of the Red Shield division, i.e, the 57th Mtn Div, made a mountain out of a mole hill over a punctuated and attributed term as a literal retributive word instead. Once an inverted coma is used, the attributive term cannot be interpreted in its full literal meaning, nor could it be taken as an official designation, i.e ‘Maj’ Che Guevera or ‘Brig’ Living etc. In the military, a punctuated designation is regarded or recognised as self-styled. Hence, well-educated army officers, and UG outfit commanders, ought to think twice before passing a ‘guilty’ judgment upon themselves when it comes to punctuated attribution. In military tradition, outrageous attributive terms, phrases, call-signs, code-names, nicknames, unit-names, etc. have been proudly used and very well-liked by combat correspondents and the media. Though quaint, crude and offending in its literal sen-se, military jargons, have always been much more enjoyed and honoured by officers and ranks. Just about every strange or deceptive names, ungentlemanly terms and colourful phrases are readily accepted in the military even though the general public would find them uncouth, baffling and confusing. But no one minds as long as they win their hearts and admirations.

The most famous attributive name given to audacious military formation was that of Brig Orde Wingate’s ‘Chindits’ but dubbed by war correspondents as ‘Wingate Circus’. Brig (Later Maj Gen) Wingate of Burma fame did not mind because his courageous commando-brigade who created real havoc deep within the Japanese line in Burma during WWII came from various units of the Allied forces, hence different uniforms, insignia, colourful ribbons, etc. In Burma, the American led Kachin warriors were and still better known as the ‘Savage Kachin Rangers’, but the proud Kachins (i.e robbers as named by the dominant Burmans) don’t mind being called savage robbers by two more civilised nations! The American Kachin Rangers laid a foundation for Gen Frank ‘Merrill’s Marauders’ who smashed their way like a swarm of bees to capture the strategic airfield at Mitkyina in Burma during WWII. To call a disciplined and highly-trained assault force as ‘Marauders’ sounds like a military sacrilege, but then the ‘Merrill’s Marauders’ pro-udly took it as an attributive honour. About a decade ago, one faction misused the term ‘Marauders’, which was misinterpreted by other friendly factions’s learned advisors here in Manipur, changed the course of the Kukis insurgency movement. Well, what do we say about the ‘Dirty Dozen’ and ‘Dirty Harry’? The 12-man commando squad and the peace-enforcer Mr Harry took pride in being called ‘dirty’ which they were not in strict literal sense. The legendary British parachute still take pride in being labelled the ‘Red Devils’ as called by the Germans and officially recognised by none other then Gen Sir Harold Alexander in his message to the 1st Parachute Brigade in North Africa after the defeat of the more legendary German General called ‘The Desert Fox’. Field Marshal Erwin Rommel certainly was not a fox but fox-like military cunning he had and did fight magnificently against an enemy twice his fighting force. Rommel was much more than very pleased to be called ‘The Desert Fox’ since it was a positive attributive nickname. Ironically, one of the famous British armoured formation, which eventually routed the famed German Africa Korps of Rommel was the 6th Armoured Division which still is better known as ‘The Desert Rats’. Foxes and Rats of the desert they were, as they proudly called themselves like the Red Devils. During WWI, Scottish kilted soldiers were respectfully dubbed by the German as ‘Lady Devils from Hell’ though very much gentlemen troops from Scotland. All these names and phrases were given in positive and admirable sense of judgement and not sarcastic nor disrespectful observations. In the elite Parachute regiment, the bizarre phrase ‘Break Your Leg’ is used as good luck wish rather than ‘have a safe landing’ or ‘Happy Hunting’. During the famous Tangail (Bangladesh on 5th Dec 1971) para-dropping of the 2nd Parachute or No. 2 Para consisting of 784 Maratha Light Infantrymen under Lt. Col. Kulwant Singh Pannu, a pilot was shocked by the ‘Break Your Leg’ parting wishes and another ‘Good Luck’ wish to him by Col Pannu before jumping deep within hostile enemy territory instead of vice-versa. Col Pannu ‘arrogantly’ carried two pistols in his belt like the more arrogant Gen George Patton, 2nd US Army, one Govt issued and one private. The Proud Gen Douglas MacArthur, was dubbed as Caesar for his martial aristocracy, pompous and politico-military arrogant attitudes which literally made him a general without an Army after the US President Harry S Truman kept him on the sideline because of bombastic remarks and his refusal to deal directly with the White House and the Pentagon during the 1953 Korean war. It is worth mentioning that President Truman has no middle name which all other US President have had, and the initial ‘S’ between his first name Harry and surname is just an alphabetical letter. Even though the assassinated Gestrapo chief Reinhart Heydrich was given the middle name ‘The Hangman’ by the press, almost all of his thousands of victims were shot dead, gassed or hacked to death.

The world most famous ‘crack’ commando unit, the British Special Air Service (SAS) was dubbed as the Phantom Army by friends and foes alike. However, the SAS Commandos called themselves the ‘Jokers’, their commander being the Queen of Hearts and the enemy being the Knave/Jack. All armed forces’ elite units earnestly like to be called or dubbed with the punctuated word ‘crack’, i.e crack commandos. As an open adjective cracked means crazy, mentally unsound or physically damaged. The Americans GIs with dog-tags (not name tags) of D for Dog company’s K-9 squad don’t mind being called ‘dog-faced’ weary troops. One of the most arrogantly titled regular army regiments is the famous British Army’s 17th/ 21st Lancers - The Death or Glory Boys, or The ‘Tots’ in short. In fact, a cross-bone with a skull is used in pictorial form officially rather the word ‘death’, followed by ‘or Glory Boys’. No one says anything about Lord Kitchener’s 1000 crack troops being militarily attributed as the ‘Old Contemptibles’. Even in games and sports, we have the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Grizzlies, Pirates, Kiwis, Kangaroos, Dare Devil, Wolverines, Dolphins, Lions, Hell’s Angels, Old Monks, Marauders, Raiders, Avenging Patriots, the Hammers and Gunners which are all officially accepted by one and all with good faith and charity for all.

The Sangai Express

Hell(o) are you reachable?

By : Ngathingkhui Jagoi/IFP

So what happens if you don’t have a mobile? Keep cool.

There was a time when I envied people who had mobile phones. When I saw some early mobile users (people who were lucky enough in getting SIMs when mobile was first launched in Nagaland) waving at the autos with their trendy mobiles to get a ride, I even thought of buying a toy mobile handset and pretend to be talking to someone in the middle of the road.

Before long, I also acquired one by hook and by crook. What do you get when you cross a bad-telephone connection with a rooster? A wake up call! But what happens when you have a mobile for yourselves? A raging temper perhaps.

The other day, I frantically tried on my mobile phone to call up a friend of mine for some urgent matter. But I could not convey the message. The network was always busy or it was not reachable. I tried fidgeting my poor handset and the message I want to convey got stale after four days (because network was down for four consecutive days).

Four days? What a cruel joke! But things happened here in Nagaland or for that matter in Manipur too for mobile users.

Anybody who has tried for an urgent call would know exactly what I mean. As for those who still haven’t experienced these advancements in technology, here is what they say.

Wow!!! Everything is automated. But all you’ll hear is a shoddy woman’s voice in slur, “Aoll lianes in this ruoad are busy, please call after sometime.” To me this is the most irritating voice I have ever heard. I am in a way, already in a fury for having failed to get through my friend and hearing such an unpleasant voice is Umnh! Too much. I sometimes wonder why BSNL has installed such voice. Nagas are a people who can sing with sweet voices and we have sweet female voices. Why on earth such a voice? I repeat, I really can’t comprehend why such a shoddy voice with such an unpleasant sound transmitting at 78 mph! The service has been revamped and now has a slick new automated voice response system for the more English savvy people.

BSNL tells lies

In a bit to get more information about how mobile phones operate here, I narrated my woes to a friend of mine. However, he could not give me much inside to the problem. He only said he had tried dialing his landline number just a few inches away from landline telephone receiver. “Damn it,” pat came his reply, “It was only a few inches away, but came the automated message, ‘network busy’ I dialed my landline again and it said, ‘the subscriber is not reachable.’ The distance between my mobile set and the landline receiver was just a question of a few inches and it was not reachable! BSNL tells lies.”

Either the number is perpetually busy or tower has sunk inside the loose ground of Dimapur again, only the BSNL knows. Though things seem to have improved a bit now, try only if you luck-out atleast 8 times out of 10 or have nothing better to do!

The bad part: Call. No answer? Call again. Still no answer? Call yet again and again... Repeat the above routine till lady luck smiles or you get a BSNL mobiles customer care or you loose your handset and threw it away.

The big news: There is a rumour doing round that the tower is being overloaded (may be that is why sometimes the tower sank into the ground). The rumour goes on saying that BSNL issues SIMs even if it has already exceeded the load. I was informed that a guy who was sent by certain politician collected 100 SIM cards from Dimapur BSNL office recently. Nagaland is a state where 5 governments (4 underground govts and + state govt) ruled. Imagine! How many SIMs the BIG BOSS of these governments must be taking. And you fight like dogs for the leftovers.

Now that there is an overload connection, all we can do is wait and share the lines phase wise.

(The writer is senior sub-editor Eastern Mirror, Dimapur)


The Imphal Free Press