By B. Thohii
For many of those who have watched one of the greatest movies of the time "The passion of the Christ" by Mel Gibson, they would surely not miss the melodramatic scene of love and pain that mother Mary has for her son Jesus. A brief scene but having an unfathomable meaning behind it, is the character of mother Mary running frantically to her fallen son with cross on the way to Calvary, and assuredly crying out "I’m here son".
The scene is wonderfully set with a flashback of how the same mother running frantically in dead look to her falling little son Jesus and raising him up with hug and saying "I’m here for you son". The synchronization of the two scenes speaks volume of how in reality too every mother has the same measureless and unchanging love for her child in whatever condition or circumstance.
Mother’s love for her child perhaps remains the same on equal measure even at grow up stage, and she carries vividly in her deep memory all the pranks of her child in childhood days and probably continue to see that in her grown up son and daughter. This is the epitome of genuine love that every mother stores in her heart for her children no matter what they are.
A human individual, a woman, a mother who bears the unborn baby in her womb for nine months and brings forth new individual into the world is the loveliest person to all sons and daughters of the earth. A mother, even before she knew whether her unborn baby in her womb would be a boy or a girl, handsome or ugly, successful or a failure developed a rarest kind of unconditional love right from the moment of her realization of conception of the baby. There is every reason of deep emotional bonding between a mother and her child. Whether in an animal world or human world it is the mother who shows an extra love and care for young ones than the male partner.
The possessive love and protective instinct of mother for her young ones are the same both in human and animal world. Some animal mother’s instinctive love, care and protection for her young ones, for instance, shows the most ferocity in times of attack or danger from enemies. The phenomenon of dimorphism in both animal and human world shows that there is a difference in the manifestation of love and care for young ones between male and female.
This phenomenon, for instance, in animal world it is the female that takes care of her young ones and not the male partner. Save some animals with higher intelligent most male partners rarely share responsibility in the raising or caring of the young ones. Even in the case of human being greater responsibility of child caring rest with mother. However, this does not necessarily means that father care less about his young ones; it is only in the difference of manifestation of overt love, care and affection for young ones due to different role playing. Freud’s theory of Oedipus complex and Electra complex, which studies human psychological emotion propounded that parents of opposite sex have different emotional bonding on their opposite sex children.
The Freudan psychological bonding in the mother-son relation, based on Greek mythology – a tragedy of how a son (Oedipus) killed his own father and marry his own mother, is not of sexual intimation but of genuine emotional love that mother and son share. Opposite to this phenomenon, Electra complex shows father – daughter relation likes that of Oedipus complex. Every son’s perception of a two-man is reflected and guid-ed by the resemblance of his mother’s character. Si-milarly, daughter’s perception of a man is mirrored in the shadow of her father’s character and qualities.
This phenomenon of psychological and emotional bonding between parents of opposite sex to children of opposite sex may be true but the fact is that all children (both boys and girls) have more emotional attachment with mother than with father. Father – son relation gets distance, not necessarily estranged, as the son grows up and developed his own ‘self’ individuality with responsibility, but mother – son relation does not develop in this same manner. In the case of mother - daughter relation it develops into a kind of emotional bonding that does not get distance; it remains close as friends.
The place of a mother in the heart of children is sacred and large, and every child has a Freudan possessiveness of mother. But as the child grows up there are times when the heart of a mother is pierce through with hurts and pains by children in many ways. In a life time every mother experiences a mix of love, joy, hurt and pain as she sees her child gro-ws up in years. A mother experiences love and joy when she sees her child grows up in a way socially accepted.
She, however, experiences hurts and pai-ns when her child grows up in the dark side of life socially unaccepted – the life of drug, crime, immoral and so on. The mother also silently bores all the sufferings and pains in times of sickness and death of her children. Not only this phenomenon beyond human control that pains a mother’s heart but she also suffers pain as she sees her young sons and daughters getting killed in violence caused by local socio-political situation. Many young men and women fell into victim to man-made violence for no faults of theirs. In every conflict zone all mothers’ hearts are tormented by the very thought of the insecurity of the life of their children – many innocence children get killed in the violence unleashed by those who believes in the ideology of the sword.
The heart of mother is broken not only by the certainty of sickness and death but environment created by the sons and daughters of the soil for many others reasons. All these she silently bears in her heart not realize by the sons and daughters. Too little is been done to make her happy perhaps. What then should mother be given while she is alive? The answer is simple enough – love and care in return for all what she has or is giving us unceasingly.
Again, are we the sons and daughters of the soil doing this enou-gh? Yes in heart but perhaps too little in action. A tale of a young and beautiful woman turning into motherhood, bringing forth a cute baby into the world much to her joy, nursing the child to fully grown up son or daughter, and eventually growing old, weak, frail, and abundant to herself by her own son or daughter is not an uncommon case in the world of narcissism. There are occasions of mother becoming an issue in the relation of newly married couple where son is trap-ped between two women’s love – one, who gave him birth, and the other for whom he would sold the world for her love.
This case of conflict is common is some societies particularly in the Hindu society. The mother that gave all her every being for the well being of her child sometime lands up in old aged home to be left forlorn and sad. This sad episode of life of a mother in her sun-setting days is most poig-nant but many unfortunate mothers face this cruelty and ungratefulness. Mother’s Day is popularly celebrated by the Christians but it has a universal appeal and the deeper meaning of the day applies to every sons and daughters of the earth.
For the Christians the day has a symbolic meaning in connection to their faith and symbolic exemplary they tries to follow. The only begotten son of God was born through an earthly mother through divine power. She bore her son in her womb for nine months like any other woman. The classic example that Christians draw is the ideal relationship betw-een Jesus and his mother. The significance, however, is not confine to Christianity alone; it applies to all societies and religions.
Celebrating Mother’s Day should be a reminder that all mothers deserve love, care and affection in reciprocation from their sons and daughters. Wishes, hugs, and presentation to mother on her day is fine and ought to be shown, but the joyous thing that she will perhaps want most and expect from her son and daughter would be growing up to be a disciplined and responsible men and women in the society.
Love, care and affection that ought to be shown to her must be given while she is alive. A bouquets of roses on her coffin, tears in the eyes, breast beating wailing, remorse for not having done enough during while she is alive, and to say sorry to mother would be too late and in vain on her death. Every mother deserves a measureless love in return for the same that she gave to us unconditionally for our wellbeing. This is the duty of every son and daughter to a mother.
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