Relationships require attention and affection to sustain and grow. They mostly survive on an “action-reaction” basis. Many a times we come across the word ‘compromise’ as the golden rule for a successful partnership of any kind. Under general terms, compromise is defined as the action of “giving up something to settle a difference of opinion between each other”.
Compromise is the most easily advised and toughest to practice of tips to hold on to a relationship. We have to give up some of our needs and wants in order to make a relationship work. If relationships prevent us from fulfilling our needs, they are not serving us. How do we love others if we fail to love ourselves through self-neglect by giving up our wants and needs? It is a mistaken notion of sacrifice that requires a neglect of ourselves for others.
If it is not compromise then it is the word '’adjust" that comes back to haunt you in relationships. You are expected to put up with what you are not willing to, in the name of adjusting and giving space in your relationship. Whether it’s compromising or adjusting, in the long run we only end up draining ourselves and our partners by creating a mock marriage.
Since our real need for love is not met, we make demands of our ’loved’ ones to give us what they cannot and what we have not given to ourselves. We have given up our needs by attempting to please them and fail, because we become needy instead of pleasing. Lack of communication has a significant impact on how unsatisfied and unfulfilled one feels with their partner. It is undoubtedly harder to cooperate and compromise when a relationship is strained as one feels hurt and disappointed by someone close. It is much more difficult to exert the effort that is needed to work on problems and to continue, even when one may be feeling helpless and hopeless about the future and be unable to find the positives in a relationship. It is important to remember that we have as much ability to help and heal a relationship as we do to hurt and damage it. This does not mean we should again get back to the good old compromise-and-cooperate mantra to set things right.
A relationship, especially in a marriage, is like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken.
What’s the solution? Prevention or Cure?
If compromise is no longer the ideal way out of an argument or trouble in a marriage, what else is?
The wisest route to a blissful marriage is careful selection of your life partner before you enter a relation. You should take extra care in choosing the person you marry, as it’s a decision that shall make or mar the rest of your life. Reveal your preferences, likes, dislikes, opinions, habits and expectations beforehand and match it with the other person’s. The unique personality matching feature at ShaadiKaro helps you in choosing the most compatible match for you from all of the possible profiles on the site. Selecting the right partner means marrying the one whose personality compliments your own, and that assures a more sensible match. When personalities match, understanding and relating to each other comes much more easily and naturally.
We no longer have to rely on people's abilities to compromise in the face of intense emotional loads. We can lighten the emotional loads with relative ease thereby facilitating understanding and cooperation. This allows the relationship to flower and produce love instead of luggage, bliss instead of baggage, freedom instead of friction. Selection of your partner in accordance to your personality and realising your compatibility is definitely the first and the best step to a harmonious marriage.
No one is perfect and that remains a norm. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, there is a disagreement once in a while. Such arguments should not harm your relationship.
Respect, mutual trust and love above all should be the guidelines to conform to and let your marriage that was matched in heaven be blessed on the earth.
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http://www.shaadikaro.com/articles_areuacompromiser.asp
Compromise is the most easily advised and toughest to practice of tips to hold on to a relationship. We have to give up some of our needs and wants in order to make a relationship work. If relationships prevent us from fulfilling our needs, they are not serving us. How do we love others if we fail to love ourselves through self-neglect by giving up our wants and needs? It is a mistaken notion of sacrifice that requires a neglect of ourselves for others.
If it is not compromise then it is the word '’adjust" that comes back to haunt you in relationships. You are expected to put up with what you are not willing to, in the name of adjusting and giving space in your relationship. Whether it’s compromising or adjusting, in the long run we only end up draining ourselves and our partners by creating a mock marriage.
Since our real need for love is not met, we make demands of our ’loved’ ones to give us what they cannot and what we have not given to ourselves. We have given up our needs by attempting to please them and fail, because we become needy instead of pleasing. Lack of communication has a significant impact on how unsatisfied and unfulfilled one feels with their partner. It is undoubtedly harder to cooperate and compromise when a relationship is strained as one feels hurt and disappointed by someone close. It is much more difficult to exert the effort that is needed to work on problems and to continue, even when one may be feeling helpless and hopeless about the future and be unable to find the positives in a relationship. It is important to remember that we have as much ability to help and heal a relationship as we do to hurt and damage it. This does not mean we should again get back to the good old compromise-and-cooperate mantra to set things right.
A relationship, especially in a marriage, is like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken.
What’s the solution? Prevention or Cure?
If compromise is no longer the ideal way out of an argument or trouble in a marriage, what else is?
The wisest route to a blissful marriage is careful selection of your life partner before you enter a relation. You should take extra care in choosing the person you marry, as it’s a decision that shall make or mar the rest of your life. Reveal your preferences, likes, dislikes, opinions, habits and expectations beforehand and match it with the other person’s. The unique personality matching feature at ShaadiKaro helps you in choosing the most compatible match for you from all of the possible profiles on the site. Selecting the right partner means marrying the one whose personality compliments your own, and that assures a more sensible match. When personalities match, understanding and relating to each other comes much more easily and naturally.
We no longer have to rely on people's abilities to compromise in the face of intense emotional loads. We can lighten the emotional loads with relative ease thereby facilitating understanding and cooperation. This allows the relationship to flower and produce love instead of luggage, bliss instead of baggage, freedom instead of friction. Selection of your partner in accordance to your personality and realising your compatibility is definitely the first and the best step to a harmonious marriage.
No one is perfect and that remains a norm. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, there is a disagreement once in a while. Such arguments should not harm your relationship.
Respect, mutual trust and love above all should be the guidelines to conform to and let your marriage that was matched in heaven be blessed on the earth.
--------------------------------
http://www.shaadikaro.com/articles_areuacompromiser.asp
