Maria Thanglura
The Telegraph (July 09 2007) carried an article on a booklet issued by the West Delhi Police called Security Tips for Northeast Students/Visitors in Delhi to guide the Northeasterners living in the capital. The booklet advises that ‘revealing dress be avoided. Avoid lonely/bylane when dressed scantily. Dress according to sensitivity of the local populace.’
The booklet also recommends “bamboo shoot, akhuni and other smelly dishes should be prepared without creating ruckus in neighbourhood”.
Citing various cases of rape, drunken brawls and unruly behaviour, the booklet also has tips on personal safety and prevention of break-ins, muggings and vehicle theft for visitors.
Consequently, there has been an outrage amongst the various student organisations which form a major bulk of the Northeastern population in Delhi, who felt even more alienated and segregated; this booklet they felt, added more to the already strong existing prejudice towards people from the North East in India.
Closer home in Shillong, my initial reaction was of a similar outrage. How dare they? Isn’t it bad enough that we are discriminated because of our features…and now they have to attack our way of dressing, our food habits and our culture?
And it is an undeniable fact that regardless of whether you are a Mizo, a Naga or a Khasi; to them we look the same. Our culture is different from the rest of the country and we all have food items that are wonderfully strong smelling.
My outrage grew when I recalled my earlier experience while living in Mumbai and there were incidents when I felt I was harassed or plainly looked down-upon because of the way my features.
My indignation knew no bounds when I discovered that the introduction in the booklet is written by the Deputy Commissioner (West Delhi), an IPS officer who hails from Arunachal Pradesh.
A Northeasterner to boot! Imagine that.
But the human mind is a tricky mechanism. While I was recharging my anger and outrage, my mind also recalled incidents, conversations and interactions witnessed through this journey called life. It started to make me think.
When did I last judge someone on the basis of his or her looks or appearance? Or perhaps have been judged by someone else? As I look around to my circle of friends, family and amongst people who have similar features; eat the same food and probably speak the same language, I would say the frequency is pretty high. How accurate or inaccurate the judgments were is another matter. The point is, you will draw your conclusions about someone else based on what you see at surface level or by what someone has told you.
Try this with the people around you and listen to your thoughts like I did, you might come up with some interesting observations which will tell you what the human mind can conjure up.
Several thoughts later, I concluded that it is only with time that one can assess a person, begin to gauge his intelligence or his characteristic, interact with him on a one to one basis and then only claim to ‘know’ him. And this too, only up to a certain level, for each person has different layers which will get revealed gradually according to changing situations (if at all). Otherwise, we are merely going by hearsay, jumping to conjecture and drawing our own conclusions without pausing to think if it is fair or not. Similarly we then find to our surprise that, ’so and so’ is not the person you thought he/she was because your character assessment was based purely on assumptions.
What I am trying to say in a long and confused manner is; that part of us that is judgmental of someone purely on surface level is inbuilt in all of us.
Whether you are a Northeastener, a North Indian, or an American.
We judge people all the time. From the family they come from, from the way they are dressed, from the way they speak; to how rich or poor they are, to what high ranking official or politician the parents are, to what status they have in society. And this, we do it most easily and efficiently because we don’t take time or the effort to scratch the surface and get to know the real person behind the ‘image’. An image that we have created for them rather than what the person may actually be.
Like the rest of the country does to our family or friends studying and working in the cities or elsewhere. With our distinctive looks and devil-may-care attitude, people outside the region will judge and discriminate us by the first impression they get of us. That first impression is based on the manner we present ourselves to them. And going by the hectic lifestyle of societies everywhere, no one has the ‘luxury’ of really discovering who you really are. No time and no inclination whatsoever unless it suits their interests.
Will these people in the cities take time and effort to know about our culture, our food habits or our lifestyle because we feel the injustice?
Will they ever understand that our culture is less orthodox and we can wear so-called ’scantily dressed’ clothes or socialize with the opposite sex openly without being sexual?
Will they care to find out that we are home loving, hospitable and family oriented?
Will they ever appreciate the taste or smell of ‘bekang’, ‘tungrungbai’ or ‘akhuni’?
The truth is, they may or not and where does that leave us?
By writing reams of protest letters to our ministers, staging a dharna or the easiest of all, attack in retaliation and target every defenceless vai, dkhar or mayang we encounter in our home towns. It’s been done. Did it change anything?
Besides this, what other effort did we take to remove the prejudice towards the Mizos, Khasis, Nagas or other communities of the North East?
The IPS officer who wrote the introduction ‘insists that visitors from the Northeast do not interact enough with the local population and blames this on a language barrier and the visitors’ “features akin to neighbouring countries”.’
Leaving my misgivings aside on targeting only the Northeasterners in the booklet, I have to reluctantly admit that this is true, based on my eleven years stay outside the region. When we go out to study or work, seldom do we take the effort to mix with other people. We want to stick with our own people because we are within our comfort zone that makes us feel secure, more confident and perhaps give us an identity.
As frustrating and lonesome as it can be in the cities, this short-term view hinders our very development. As a human being or as a professional. Our vision becomes narrow because we have not permitted ourselves to be exposed to different surroundings, different mindsets and different cultures.
If the rest of the country is not open minded about our culture, our lifestyle, does that mean we should have the same close-minded attitude?
I say, lets’ just do the reverse. With a vengeance. Try to learn from them without fear of losing our cultural identity. Take the effort to socialize, mingle or fit in, with a clear focus of the larger picture, which is to ensure that the North East will no longer be sidelined by mainstream India. Believe me, this will help us become world citizens who will propel our culture and our communities towards a more global spectrum.
On the other side of the coin, some of us tend to misuse our freedom once we reach the metros. Away from the watchful eyes of our family or our society, we tend to go over board. As another North East friend once shared with me, we are over represented in pubs, discos, shopping malls and music concerts. Which is not totally a bad thing. However when drunken brawls, promiscuous behaviour soon follows at such venues, you can bet a Northeasterner is involved. It is no wonder that people in metros think that a Northeastern girl is easy prey. Can we at least acknowledge that we have given them enough fuel to be prejudiced towards us?
Can we also accept responsibility for the way we conduct ourselves in public and do something constructive about it?
Or should we attack our education system, our political situations or perhaps blame our family upbringing? Then again could it be that our social conditioning is too restrictive in our societies that when given a sliver of freedom, we misuse it?
Or better still, shall we just blame the rest of the country for their ignorance and thereafter have a nationwide campaign on the cultures of the Northeast and how each state and community is distinctly indigenous?
I don’t know if there are any clear-cut answers.
But personally, I think it starts with one person. You. You – the Northeasterner.
Because you are going to start your life with a disadvantage. A disadvantage that you are a ‘Chinky’, a Northeasterner from Mizoram, Meghalaya, Nagaland, Manipur, Assam, Tripura, Arunachal Pradesh. And no matter how different or better you think you are from the other states in the North East, you will be seen and judged as one.
Arm yourself with the insight that people will judge you by who they have met or interacted with earlier from the Northeast. You cannot erase the memory of that person’s experience especially if it was unpleasant. But you can start building a better future by presenting yourself decently and being sensitive to other people around you.
Wherever you are, you will be in a society of people that may not always understand where you are coming from. Blending in any society or mixing with other cultures cannot take away your culture or your identity. You will be the ambassador of your community, your culture or your hometown irregardless of where you live in the world. This is an irrefutable fact and an unavoidable responsibility, which you have to acknowledge once you have made a decision to study or live outside your home state.
The booklet issued by the Delhi Police for the security of the students and visitors of the North East is well meaning even if it has tinges of sexism. Even if a North Eastern girl is ’scantily’ clad, what right has any man have to rape her, sexually depraved or not? And what of other rape victims who are not ’scantily’ dressed and who are not from the North East. But right now, we need to ask ourselves why the booklet was published. Once we can get past our anger and our protests, and get down to working towards a solution then surely we can look forward to a prejudice free future.
And if ever in the course of your journey through life, you encounter someone with a unwarranted bias towards you for the way you look or speak; talk to them if they are close to you; take time and effort to educate them about your culture; take pride that you are a Northeasterner, and that you love your ’smelly dishes’.
And lastly, be thankful if they don’t like it.
You might have to share it with them, if they did.
—---------------------------------
Maria Thanglura is an independent filmmaker, writer and Communications professional based in Shillong. Comments, feedback, questions can be sent to Zoram Villa, Bomfylde Road, Shillong-793001, Meghalaya, India.
Source: Mizo Student’s Union Shillong Annual Magazine 2007
Source: http://hmar.net/?p=1515
The Telegraph (July 09 2007) carried an article on a booklet issued by the West Delhi Police called Security Tips for Northeast Students/Visitors in Delhi to guide the Northeasterners living in the capital. The booklet advises that ‘revealing dress be avoided. Avoid lonely/bylane when dressed scantily. Dress according to sensitivity of the local populace.’
The booklet also recommends “bamboo shoot, akhuni and other smelly dishes should be prepared without creating ruckus in neighbourhood”.
Citing various cases of rape, drunken brawls and unruly behaviour, the booklet also has tips on personal safety and prevention of break-ins, muggings and vehicle theft for visitors.
Consequently, there has been an outrage amongst the various student organisations which form a major bulk of the Northeastern population in Delhi, who felt even more alienated and segregated; this booklet they felt, added more to the already strong existing prejudice towards people from the North East in India.
Closer home in Shillong, my initial reaction was of a similar outrage. How dare they? Isn’t it bad enough that we are discriminated because of our features…and now they have to attack our way of dressing, our food habits and our culture?
And it is an undeniable fact that regardless of whether you are a Mizo, a Naga or a Khasi; to them we look the same. Our culture is different from the rest of the country and we all have food items that are wonderfully strong smelling.
My outrage grew when I recalled my earlier experience while living in Mumbai and there were incidents when I felt I was harassed or plainly looked down-upon because of the way my features.
My indignation knew no bounds when I discovered that the introduction in the booklet is written by the Deputy Commissioner (West Delhi), an IPS officer who hails from Arunachal Pradesh.
A Northeasterner to boot! Imagine that.
But the human mind is a tricky mechanism. While I was recharging my anger and outrage, my mind also recalled incidents, conversations and interactions witnessed through this journey called life. It started to make me think.
When did I last judge someone on the basis of his or her looks or appearance? Or perhaps have been judged by someone else? As I look around to my circle of friends, family and amongst people who have similar features; eat the same food and probably speak the same language, I would say the frequency is pretty high. How accurate or inaccurate the judgments were is another matter. The point is, you will draw your conclusions about someone else based on what you see at surface level or by what someone has told you.
Try this with the people around you and listen to your thoughts like I did, you might come up with some interesting observations which will tell you what the human mind can conjure up.
Several thoughts later, I concluded that it is only with time that one can assess a person, begin to gauge his intelligence or his characteristic, interact with him on a one to one basis and then only claim to ‘know’ him. And this too, only up to a certain level, for each person has different layers which will get revealed gradually according to changing situations (if at all). Otherwise, we are merely going by hearsay, jumping to conjecture and drawing our own conclusions without pausing to think if it is fair or not. Similarly we then find to our surprise that, ’so and so’ is not the person you thought he/she was because your character assessment was based purely on assumptions.
What I am trying to say in a long and confused manner is; that part of us that is judgmental of someone purely on surface level is inbuilt in all of us.
Whether you are a Northeastener, a North Indian, or an American.
We judge people all the time. From the family they come from, from the way they are dressed, from the way they speak; to how rich or poor they are, to what high ranking official or politician the parents are, to what status they have in society. And this, we do it most easily and efficiently because we don’t take time or the effort to scratch the surface and get to know the real person behind the ‘image’. An image that we have created for them rather than what the person may actually be.
Like the rest of the country does to our family or friends studying and working in the cities or elsewhere. With our distinctive looks and devil-may-care attitude, people outside the region will judge and discriminate us by the first impression they get of us. That first impression is based on the manner we present ourselves to them. And going by the hectic lifestyle of societies everywhere, no one has the ‘luxury’ of really discovering who you really are. No time and no inclination whatsoever unless it suits their interests.
Will these people in the cities take time and effort to know about our culture, our food habits or our lifestyle because we feel the injustice?
Will they ever understand that our culture is less orthodox and we can wear so-called ’scantily dressed’ clothes or socialize with the opposite sex openly without being sexual?
Will they care to find out that we are home loving, hospitable and family oriented?
Will they ever appreciate the taste or smell of ‘bekang’, ‘tungrungbai’ or ‘akhuni’?
The truth is, they may or not and where does that leave us?
By writing reams of protest letters to our ministers, staging a dharna or the easiest of all, attack in retaliation and target every defenceless vai, dkhar or mayang we encounter in our home towns. It’s been done. Did it change anything?
Besides this, what other effort did we take to remove the prejudice towards the Mizos, Khasis, Nagas or other communities of the North East?
The IPS officer who wrote the introduction ‘insists that visitors from the Northeast do not interact enough with the local population and blames this on a language barrier and the visitors’ “features akin to neighbouring countries”.’
Leaving my misgivings aside on targeting only the Northeasterners in the booklet, I have to reluctantly admit that this is true, based on my eleven years stay outside the region. When we go out to study or work, seldom do we take the effort to mix with other people. We want to stick with our own people because we are within our comfort zone that makes us feel secure, more confident and perhaps give us an identity.
As frustrating and lonesome as it can be in the cities, this short-term view hinders our very development. As a human being or as a professional. Our vision becomes narrow because we have not permitted ourselves to be exposed to different surroundings, different mindsets and different cultures.
If the rest of the country is not open minded about our culture, our lifestyle, does that mean we should have the same close-minded attitude?
I say, lets’ just do the reverse. With a vengeance. Try to learn from them without fear of losing our cultural identity. Take the effort to socialize, mingle or fit in, with a clear focus of the larger picture, which is to ensure that the North East will no longer be sidelined by mainstream India. Believe me, this will help us become world citizens who will propel our culture and our communities towards a more global spectrum.
On the other side of the coin, some of us tend to misuse our freedom once we reach the metros. Away from the watchful eyes of our family or our society, we tend to go over board. As another North East friend once shared with me, we are over represented in pubs, discos, shopping malls and music concerts. Which is not totally a bad thing. However when drunken brawls, promiscuous behaviour soon follows at such venues, you can bet a Northeasterner is involved. It is no wonder that people in metros think that a Northeastern girl is easy prey. Can we at least acknowledge that we have given them enough fuel to be prejudiced towards us?
Can we also accept responsibility for the way we conduct ourselves in public and do something constructive about it?
Or should we attack our education system, our political situations or perhaps blame our family upbringing? Then again could it be that our social conditioning is too restrictive in our societies that when given a sliver of freedom, we misuse it?
Or better still, shall we just blame the rest of the country for their ignorance and thereafter have a nationwide campaign on the cultures of the Northeast and how each state and community is distinctly indigenous?
I don’t know if there are any clear-cut answers.
But personally, I think it starts with one person. You. You – the Northeasterner.
Because you are going to start your life with a disadvantage. A disadvantage that you are a ‘Chinky’, a Northeasterner from Mizoram, Meghalaya, Nagaland, Manipur, Assam, Tripura, Arunachal Pradesh. And no matter how different or better you think you are from the other states in the North East, you will be seen and judged as one.
Arm yourself with the insight that people will judge you by who they have met or interacted with earlier from the Northeast. You cannot erase the memory of that person’s experience especially if it was unpleasant. But you can start building a better future by presenting yourself decently and being sensitive to other people around you.
Wherever you are, you will be in a society of people that may not always understand where you are coming from. Blending in any society or mixing with other cultures cannot take away your culture or your identity. You will be the ambassador of your community, your culture or your hometown irregardless of where you live in the world. This is an irrefutable fact and an unavoidable responsibility, which you have to acknowledge once you have made a decision to study or live outside your home state.
The booklet issued by the Delhi Police for the security of the students and visitors of the North East is well meaning even if it has tinges of sexism. Even if a North Eastern girl is ’scantily’ clad, what right has any man have to rape her, sexually depraved or not? And what of other rape victims who are not ’scantily’ dressed and who are not from the North East. But right now, we need to ask ourselves why the booklet was published. Once we can get past our anger and our protests, and get down to working towards a solution then surely we can look forward to a prejudice free future.
And if ever in the course of your journey through life, you encounter someone with a unwarranted bias towards you for the way you look or speak; talk to them if they are close to you; take time and effort to educate them about your culture; take pride that you are a Northeasterner, and that you love your ’smelly dishes’.
And lastly, be thankful if they don’t like it.
You might have to share it with them, if they did.
—---------------------------------
Maria Thanglura is an independent filmmaker, writer and Communications professional based in Shillong. Comments, feedback, questions can be sent to Zoram Villa, Bomfylde Road, Shillong-793001, Meghalaya, India.
Source: Mizo Student’s Union Shillong Annual Magazine 2007
Source: http://hmar.net/?p=1515
