Delhi has emerged as the divorce capital of India with about 8,500 cases of separation filed every year on an average. It has left other metros like Mumbai and Bangalore far behind. DTexplores why so many Delhiites are finding it hard to keep the marriage vows
PALLAVI PASRICHA
They say marriages are made in heaven. But if they have been solemnised in Delhi, we may have a problem. The city has emerged as the de facto divorce capital of the country with about 8,000-9,000 cases filed here every year. The number is almost the double of what was seen four years ago, and what’s more, it is the upwardly mobile 20 and 30-somethings who are finding their way to court rooms. Also, the number of women filing for divorce has seen a steep increase.
And for all those who thought that Delhi was more steeped in tradition than the glittering Mumbai, here’s news. Mumbai sees less than 5,000 divorce cases in one year, and the same holds true for Bangalore.
CAN’T FIT IN, WALK OUT
Lawyers, sociologists and marriage counsellors cite one common reason for the higher divorce rate in Delhi – the rising expectations from marriage.
Divorce lawyer Anita Sheney says, “A lot of women are filing cases for divorce, which was not the trend earlier. If things are not working in a marriage, rather than working on it, couples decide to go their separate ways.”
Accepts marriage counsellor Chandan Gupta, “Marriages are breaking up today because couples can’t see each other’s viewpoint. Couples in their mid-20s and early-30s bring a fixed mindset to marriage and refuse to change it. They feel that marriage is like a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces will just fit in but this obviously does not happen.” He goes on to say that as both partners are working these days, they are left with no time and energy to work on the relationship. “The hectic and demanding schedule of a normal working day leaves couples with no time to understand each other,” he adds.
DELHI’S DUBIOUS STATUS
And why is Delhi seeing such a spurt in divorce cases? Experts feel that is because Delhi is a city of immigrants with no specific beliefs and is far more materialistic than other places. Divorce is no longer considered a social stigma in Delhi, and so if there are discords in a marital relationship, couples would rather break it up than somehow drag the relationship on. Comparatively, people in cities like Chennai and Bangalore have more traditional mindsets.
Lawyer Geeta Luthra who deals in divorce cases explains, “Many couples who apply for a divorce are in their twenties and thirties. It’s easier for people to end a marriage if they don’t have children, otherwise they wait till kids grow up. The main reasons for divorces are adultery and mental incompatibility these days.”
SOCIAL MORES ARE
A-CHANGING
As society accepts divorce, the reasons given for separation are also changing. Says psychologist and marriage counsellor, Madhumati Singh, “Couples are very impatient these days. Earlier marriage was about adjustment and compatibility but now it’s more like a power game where both the husband and wife strive for an equal status. Women are financially independent these days and they don’t want to change that after marriage. Money matters come into play and when things don’t work out, couples file for divorce.” As 28-year-old Seema Singh (name changed), who recently got divorced, says, “Things were just not working out. It was not as if we didn’t try. The decision to part ways was also tough but we knew that we would be happier without each other. It was an end to all the bitter fights we used to have and today we are good friends.”
Adds Madhumati, “These problems also existed earlier but nowadays youngsters have a casual approach. If a woman thinks of getting a divorce, her parents will encourage her saying that she can have a better life without her husband.”
Source: The Times of India
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