Tuesday, July 17, 2007

(Sinner confession): Dustbin ! Lord "Use Me"

Hausienmuan

Mrs.B.K Rose in her speech in our fellowship services on date 11.march.2007 compare us with that Filthy dustbin, with the word use me.Even thought it is a simple word, a combination of single verb and corresponding objectives forms of the personal pronouns: it penetrated the deepest shells of my hearts. When I began to think of my life in Delhi- How I spent the day with friends,the night that so call party ,I begin to feel that really I`m a dustbin where all that bad things are disposed off: drinking of alcohol,taking of tobacco eating pan and etc.i just found out ,I`m a lucky guy created for purpose,not an accident as there is no explosion in my stomach after mixing all those chemical.

The head,my brain seem no different with my stomach;thinking of all bad things,ideology,cheating,hate and jealousy moreover no dot size for charity,no intention of reforming mysellf,praying and reading the Bible. Every Sunday I attend the fellowship services just to interact with friends and doing multiple choice exam-like standing on judges stand in Miss.Beauty contest(he..he) and with that true or false exam-she is beautifull yes/no.Or did I really came for the messages.

When I thought of writing something about our jubilee,nothing came out from my brain except the four angels-Shelly,Haute,Vung and Bony. A pretty girls dancing in the stages and praising the lord in the way they are talented.I came to know Zcf silver jubilee is a great success when I count how many coffee,tomato-soup and tea I drink on that day and when I found the diner interesting.The arrangement and performance of everything is good, I found it out as one of the most well organized function in the Zo`s history.But what did I gain for my personal life on the great day.


It was when our Church leader invite Mrs.B.K rose to preach us in our church in connection with our silver jubilee I began to catch one interesting concept i.e "Jesus want to change cloth" my dirty clothes with his dirty clothes.There I see the face of my mother in B.k rose with tear in her eyes for my safety,the face of my father in our church leaders who suffer and sacrifices for my own good so that I can reform,who gave us the same message with my father-to be always good,strong and courageous.

When Mrs.B.K Rose said ‘you are a drunkard druggist, cheater, liar it personally hurt me like pin-pointing me.Then how came after all these dirty thing ‘Jesus still wanted to change my clothes. Even after rejected/neglected by the world still He is there to always love me. I know He doesn`t need my Love, I need His love.He is the one who comfort me,stand tall with me in times of my trouble and suffering.Then why should I still run away from him.A thousand question arise in my heart "Lord,Who am I ? That you care and suffer much for. Today, I know I have nothing to offer and give the Lord-no money,no wisdom and knowledges and strength.But always this is my prayer "Lord, Use Me" as the way I am,that filthy dustbin.

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