AIZAWL, Feb 9 – For today’s lovers, sending romantic text messages may be chic, but for married couples, they may bring in unwanted problems as the Mizo society is witnessing. Replacing the not-so-much-secret love letters, the text messages are a new tool in the hands of young lovers to express their feelings these days. But social workers point out that when the messages are exchanged in an extramarital affair, problems sometimes arise.
Rev Zothansanga of the Mizoram Presbyterian Church’s Family Guidance and Counselling Centre here says more and more married couples in Mizoram these days are visiting counselling centres like his faced with emotional problems.
In a typical case, he says, a woman plainly denied having ever professed love to her extramarital partner saying there was no proof. She acknowledged that she had deleted all SMSes of her lover from the inbox of her cell phone.
This is one of the problems that the SMS culture among young lovers has given rise to. Other problems of a more serious nature have come to him at his counselling centre, Rev Zothansanga said.
Though no official data have been collected as yet, there has indeed been a rise in spousal disputes and tension leading to even divorce in some cases what with secret text messages seen by either of the spouses, the pastor says. A social worker, who wishes to remain unidentified, says that text messaging has given a spurt to extramarital affairs in the predominantly tribal Mizo society.
‘’As cellphone messages can be deleted at the flick of a button, a secret affair can be kept a secret for a long time,’’ he said.
A married woman, having three children, admitted on condition of anonymity that she and her lover, also a married man, have been exchanging romantic text messages for almost three years without anybody coming to know of it.
However, some couples this reporter talked to insist that the affairs are more in the nature of flirting than serious romantic engagement as both do not want to leave their partners and children.
A 45-year-old office-going woman said, “They communicate more often during daytime when there is nothing much to do in the office.”
Dr Lalthansangi, a psychologist and a college lecturer devoting a large part of her free time doing research on various social issues, also agrees that the introduction of mobile phone services affected relationships.
“Though I am yet to take up a thorough study on the effects of cell phones on the Mizo society, many young married men and women saddled with domestic problems admitted that their problems often began with text messaging,’’ Lalthansangi says.
She believes that the divorce rate in society is bound to increase what with today’s ubiquitous secret SMS culture.
Rev Zothansanga says that the divorce data is not available as the local churches never inform the Synod, the highest decision-making body of the Presbyterian church, how many couples divorced in their respective jurisdictions.
Mobile phone service was introduced in February, 2004 by the BSNL in Mizoram, having a population of 8.89 lakh according to the 2001 census and the number of subscribers of cell phones from four service providers grew to 2,85,272 as in October 2008. The women’s rights bodies feel that it is the women who suffer the most when estranged relations degenerate into divorce.
Though a broken family, courtesy the divorce, adversely affects both husband and wife and mostly the children, the customary law of the patriarchal Mizo society is very tough on the wife as she is not entitled to any support from the former husband. Neither could she claim any property right.
However, the Mizo Divorce Ordinance, 2008 is going to restrict the Mizo husband who can divorce his wife by just saying ‘Ka ma che’ or ‘I divorce you’. He will also be bound to give financial support to his divorced wife. – PTI
.::. All my articles can be view here: MELTED HEARTS .::.
Rev Zothansanga of the Mizoram Presbyterian Church’s Family Guidance and Counselling Centre here says more and more married couples in Mizoram these days are visiting counselling centres like his faced with emotional problems.
In a typical case, he says, a woman plainly denied having ever professed love to her extramarital partner saying there was no proof. She acknowledged that she had deleted all SMSes of her lover from the inbox of her cell phone.
This is one of the problems that the SMS culture among young lovers has given rise to. Other problems of a more serious nature have come to him at his counselling centre, Rev Zothansanga said.
Though no official data have been collected as yet, there has indeed been a rise in spousal disputes and tension leading to even divorce in some cases what with secret text messages seen by either of the spouses, the pastor says. A social worker, who wishes to remain unidentified, says that text messaging has given a spurt to extramarital affairs in the predominantly tribal Mizo society.
‘’As cellphone messages can be deleted at the flick of a button, a secret affair can be kept a secret for a long time,’’ he said.
A married woman, having three children, admitted on condition of anonymity that she and her lover, also a married man, have been exchanging romantic text messages for almost three years without anybody coming to know of it.
However, some couples this reporter talked to insist that the affairs are more in the nature of flirting than serious romantic engagement as both do not want to leave their partners and children.
A 45-year-old office-going woman said, “They communicate more often during daytime when there is nothing much to do in the office.”
Dr Lalthansangi, a psychologist and a college lecturer devoting a large part of her free time doing research on various social issues, also agrees that the introduction of mobile phone services affected relationships.
“Though I am yet to take up a thorough study on the effects of cell phones on the Mizo society, many young married men and women saddled with domestic problems admitted that their problems often began with text messaging,’’ Lalthansangi says.
She believes that the divorce rate in society is bound to increase what with today’s ubiquitous secret SMS culture.
Rev Zothansanga says that the divorce data is not available as the local churches never inform the Synod, the highest decision-making body of the Presbyterian church, how many couples divorced in their respective jurisdictions.
Mobile phone service was introduced in February, 2004 by the BSNL in Mizoram, having a population of 8.89 lakh according to the 2001 census and the number of subscribers of cell phones from four service providers grew to 2,85,272 as in October 2008. The women’s rights bodies feel that it is the women who suffer the most when estranged relations degenerate into divorce.
Though a broken family, courtesy the divorce, adversely affects both husband and wife and mostly the children, the customary law of the patriarchal Mizo society is very tough on the wife as she is not entitled to any support from the former husband. Neither could she claim any property right.
However, the Mizo Divorce Ordinance, 2008 is going to restrict the Mizo husband who can divorce his wife by just saying ‘Ka ma che’ or ‘I divorce you’. He will also be bound to give financial support to his divorced wife. – PTI
.::. All my articles can be view here: MELTED HEARTS .::.
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