Thursday, September 20, 2007

Abortion: The heinous of all crimes and its consequences

By R. D. P. Angami

A man is logical and reasonable only when it suits his selfish purpose. A girl is always blinded by emotions and so long as these emotions are useful to a man, he's satisfied but when this emotion begins to touch the freedom of a man, then reason and logic is what a man seeks for. Is it logical for a man to ask the girl who carries her child to abort the child? Where is the logic in exposing a woman to mental, physical and the risk of never becoming a mother in the future, the risk of miscarriage, the emotional toll and mental illness, depression, regrets and a damaged self image? And what bout those persons who are left alone by their lover, spouse, friend to lick their own wounds?

If this story could touch a heart, change a life or change someone from taking a wrong decision then my write up won't be a waste of time and money. Specially those men who look down on woman and never understand their pain, men who use woman as sex objects and then when it comes to caring for them, leaves them in the lurch.

Kate glanced up, holding her breath in wonder as she walked inside a cold dark dirty room, which appeared out of nowhere. Dirt scattered round the air with force, sending dust particles around her face and shoulders, brushing against her skin. One sharp edge pricked her. Panicked she covered her abdomen trying to protect her baby, only to see blood all over her hands .the blades started dancing round her, stabbing her, cutting her, killing her .... no .... Kate woke up screaming with beads of perspiration on her face. She sat in the darkness gulping air, searching for the sharp edged blades but the shadows were empty. The only sounds she heard were the cries of insects…..angel guided her dreams no more for she had killed an angel. Her guilt makes her fight the shadows of the past, all alone. If she had her child she'd have had the strength to fight with the world, but all that she has are sinful secrets that haunts her dreams and life.

Kate was young and immature, not having much knowledge about man. What she went through and goes through is the plight of many girls. After living in with her lover, one day she found that she had conceived. Her feelings were a mixture of joy and pain. The feeling that she wasn't barren filled her with elation but she couldn't share her joy with anyone because she wasn't legally married. She also knew that her lover would never allow her to keep the child. She was very much in love with her lover and the feeling that their love had taken shape and was now growing within her made her feel protective of the child…..she realized that it does not take much for a mother to fall in love with her child. She wanted her baby.

Kate's lover didn't want the child though; he didn't want the child because it would scar his future. He had a future dream where she wasn't a part but Kate being naive never understood and loving him she'd never have done anything against his wishes, which meant sacrificing herself all the time. Being from a poor background all that she could give him was her love. The lover for his own reasons wanted her to abort their child. Given no choice she consented against her ethics, values, never knowing that her decision would change her life forever.

Prior to the appointed day for the abortion, she cried talking to her child, seeking forgiveness for what she was about to do. While her lover slept on unaware of her inner turmoil, she conversed silently to her child... If she kept her baby she would be accused of scheming and trapping her lover, and if she did as he demanded she would damn herself forever. She had a choice- to keep her child and lose her love. She had to choose between her lover whom she loved dearly and her baby who was so much a precious part of the man she loved... her mental debate lasted till the wee hours of the morning and as she drifted off to a troubled sleep, she dreamt of her child telling her" mother let me live, I want to live my life mother, let me live. Don't take away my life mother you will see, when you hold me in your arms, you'll fall in love with me.... "The child begged to let it live while her lover begged her to let it die.

In a cold filthy room Kate lay down to do away with the mo precious part of her being. Still as she laid there half naked she remained undecided... At the last minute she ran out of the operation room and pleaded to her love...."Please let me not do it..please lets keep the baby" but the lover coaxed to giving in to his heavy demand. She cried and cried, which took away all her strength... When she felt the first snip, she felt a prick in her heart, the pain so real a deep, she wished she could turn back the moment just a second and safe her baby and run far, far from her love and the doctors. She walked in the clinic with a gift and walked out empty... the emptiness gnawing at her inside-out.

Her mentality changed then. As her own guilt consumed her, she became aggressive, possessive and an angry young woman. Suicidal thoughts haunted her. Whenever she saw a baby, she held on to them trying to fill the emptiness.... whenever she saw a baby smiling up at her with innocent eyes, tears rolled down her face. As years roll by she would always feel the vacuum in her life. The dreams that other mothers built around their first child would never be hers.

She held on to her lover as her only reason for survival, but he left her. He was ashamed of Kate because she was plain and he felt suffocated that a poor plain girl loved him. He deserved someone better who could give him something better.

Her love for him couldn't rule the world. She wasn't the gir1 he wanted, as her wor1d was ruled by emotions while his was ruled by reason and logic. You are not my wife....You are forcing me to be your boyfriend... I don't need you anymore. I hate you and I don't care if you die... so he left her begging and crying in the streets, her tears meaning nothing to him.

I wanted to ask you guys... When you love a woman, what do you mean by I love you?? Does it mean I love you as long as you get down on your knees and serve me... does it mean I love you as long as I need you, as long as you have sex with me, as long as you are under me, or does it mean I love you just because you are you?

There are incidents in life that can scar the life of a person, wounds that dull with age but never heal... Killing the life of and innocent is a heinous crime. Babies are not accidents, when you love a person; the baby is a result of the love, intimacy and passion that you share together. When a man loves a woman, he will see the pain and laughter in the eyes of the woman he loves. When you really love a woman, you will see the unborn child in her eyes...Despite being strong a woman is helpless, and it's during the critical moments in her life that you stand by her and give her your support, just by being there instead of abandoning her. When a woman surrenders herself to a man she loves and if she conceives it is the most beautiful gift she is blessed with. And it also becomes the duty of the man to take responsibility of the mother and the child instead of accusing her.... With words that hurt her... I didn't rape you, I didn't force you to have sex with me the most ambitious, Proud, beautiful/ugly woman is still a woman ... She isn't thrash…She is a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a mother... She is a woman. Don't lead a girl on to love you if you can't give her your love. Don't expect love if you can't give love. Don't wait for the last minute to say, I don't love you, I don't want you ... It wounds the girl for a lifetime. Don't push a woman in the darkest pit where she can neither go backward to erase the past nor go forward because of you. Don't you be the reason her whole course of life changes. Don't you be the reason she forgets how to give love.

Don't you be the reason she cries. If you can't give her real commitment, real friendship, stay away till your heart learns the art of truly giving and receiving. Wait till your heart knows she's the one and then be a blessing to her instead of a curse. Wait for the one of whom you wouldn't be ashamed of showing off to the world. Wait for the one who is beautiful in your eyes, even if she is plain and ugly to the world. If the world sees her through your eyes they will see the beauty in her.

Young girls, never opt for abortion, because it will kill you in the end... the pain will always stay. It maybe an easy solution at the moment but the pain will always be yours till the end. In the long run you will regret...you will cry... but you will never be able to undo what you do today.

The pain and guilt will live with you for the rest of your life. Premarital sex is Pre-marital sex ix wrong but aborting your own baby is worse. Hurt, disgust, guilt, anger, regrets, and bitterness will be the only gifts that remain. Killing an innocent life is worst then murdering a person in full view of people present. The guilt will sit on your conscience forever.


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